Practicing Good Manners

 Service:  Learn about and practice good manners and courtesy

photo courtesy of alimoongoddess.com

One thing I love about the suggestions in the manual - they are basic enough to let you be able to take an idea and run with it!  There are also blank spaces for you to be able to come up with something absolutely unique that fits in one of the main categories.  That just leaves so much room for creativity!

Needed:
tablecloth and table decorations (optional)
plates, utensils, glasses, napkins - enough for all children attending
healthy meal
tokens - can be pieces of paper, plastic coins, etc
small treats or prizes


This was my first activity with my kids after I was called to lead the program.  I already knew most of them pretty well from primary and thought they were a great group, but could be very rough and rowdy when all together.  I wanted to try something fun that would remind them how to act more civilized when the occasion calls for it!  I told their parents not to feed them dinner before since they would be fed at the activity.  My counselor and I got there a little early to push the tables together and set up.  We made it look fancy enough so they would feel that this was something special, but obviously didn't bring anything valuable or too breakable.  We brought a simple, nutritious meal: chicken, rice, peas and carrots, bread rolls and jugs of water to drink.  Before even going into the room where the meal was waiting, the kids were instructed that once in that room their manners would be watched!  They were to act on their best behavior, for this was a special meal.  Every time my counselor or I saw them doing something kind, courteous or using good manners, they would receive a token.  These tokens could be exchanged at the end of the evening for treats!  (anything that is linked to treats or anything that lets the kids be competitive is almost always a hit).  Instead of concentrating on arbitrary rules of etiquette, such as elbows on tables, we decided to concentrate on kindness and service.  Not all children are taught the more proper forms of etiquette in their homes and while that can be advantageous to know, it seemed more appropriate to emphasize aspects of manners that are grounded in the concern and care of those around us.

The kids loved it!  They really got into thinking of others before themselves and comically exaggerated their manners to make sure to get a token!  There were lots of "can I offer you some peas?" and "would you like another roll?"  One boy was a little sad at the beginning because he had just had some dental work done and couldn't eat anything, but soon, he decided that he would be the one to pour and refill everyone's water and he worked tirelessly throughout the meal to accomplish this.  They may have been motivated primarily by the lollies, but I had never seen a better behaved bunch of kids; it was difficult to catch up with all of the tokens that needed to be awarded!  In the end, they lined up to exchange their tokens, and I saw that even though the competition was over, they were still in good-manners mode: sharing their lollies with each other, letting someone go in line ahead of them, speaking kindly.  It's the kind of activity I could probably do once a year, just to help them brush up on their manners!

Faith in God activity nights: the basics

You've been called as the Faith in God leader in your ward, congratulations!  What does this mean?  It means that at least twice a month you are to lead an activity for all children in your ward between the ages of 8-11.  This group encompasses a very wide range in ability, interest and talents and may include children who have a disability, are hyperactive or experience social anxiety.  They may be new to the church, or new to your country or may be experiencing personal troubles at home or at school.  No matter what combination of personalities or challenges encompass your group of kids, they are each children of our Heavenly Parents and are capable of so much.  They are each  a special, young person at an age that is full of wonder, passion for learning and tremendous amounts of energy!

What to do?
So what kind of activity should you do with them?  The church Faith in God manuals (see link on the right) list many basic ideas to start from, and are my first resource when thinking of what to do next.  However, unless you have a particularly calm, collected and SMALL group of children, you will have to do a lot of tweaking to make the activities engaging, fun and memorable.  As I add ideas to this site, you will be able to see that there are a lot of possibilities in making every activity just right for your group.  Pray often about your calling and about your children specifically and you be guided to activities that will educate and enrich.  I'm very blessed to have another wonderful leader who has also been called to the program and has some awesome ideas.  If you need the support of another leader, talk to the primary president or bishopric about calling someone.

Scheduling
To make it easier for the parents, we meet at the same day and time as the ward youth groups.  This way, when parents are dropping older kids off it saves them an extra trip, and there are more nights a week when families can be together.  While youth groups are every week, Faith in God activities are designed to be only twice a month.  Unless we are working around a school holiday, we meet every 2nd and 4th week, but you can cater this to the needs of your families.  Activities should be 1 hour long, but this too can be flexible.

Communication
Make sure every Faith in God child and their parents are aware of the time, date and place of the activity.  I choose the dates of every activity for the entire year, working around school and national holidays, and send out an email in January so everyone knows what to expect.  I've seen leaders make magnets of these dates for people to put on their fridges and that can also be helpful.  I also send a reminder email a day or two before every activity, letting the parents know if there are any special requirements, like appropriate clothing for an outdoor activity or if the kids need to bring something.  You may have parents who do not use email.  I try to send out texts or phone calls to these individuals so everyone feels included in the invitation to attend.

Transport
Be aware of the transporting situations for your Faith in God kids.  Encourage the parents to arrange for carpooling with each other if there is a need.  I am often picking up kids from 1 or 2 other families on my way to the church, but it's easy since they live so close to me!  Other parents are usually more than happy to help, especially if it's on their way.

Feel free to do activities away from church every now and then!  An activity at a nearby park or taking your kids to a cultural activity in the city can be lots of fun and they appreciate the occasional change of scenery.  This will mean extra organizing with transport, so be sensitive to parent's schedules when you do this.

Layout of the evening
My kids are always so excited to be together on a weeknight, the activity usually begins with me asking everyone to quieten down and sit on the floor so we can say an opening prayer.  For some reason, sitting on the floor makes them more reverent than sitting in chairs, but I have no idea why!  After prayer, I quickly and clearly explain the activity - their attention won't stay with you if you take too long here!  The activity follows, then closing prayer, then a snack. The snack is essential.  It's something for them to look forward to and it keeps them from running off too quickly when you know their parents will be there soon to gather them up!  Snacks will usually be something like popcorn (in individual plastic cups to make less fighting), fruit kebabs, biscuits, brownies or cupcakes.  It doesn't need to be fancy; they're easy to please!  After the activity, I love how the kids continue to play and chat with each other until they go home.  These friendships - especially when they don't often have other members of the church in their schools - can be so precious.

Last note
Most importantly:  love your kids!  This might take time and prayer and effort, but I can promise you that if you really love your Faith in God kids, and show them that you love them in your words and actions, they will love coming to activities and be happy and excited to learn and participate.  Furthermore, they will value your leadership and enjoy time spent with you.  My other calling is the primary pianist, and every Sunday I have Faith in God kids coming up to the piano to give me a hug or say hi or tell me about how they are doing at school.  Children can never have too many caring adults showing them love and attention at such a tender age.